Take a Closer Look

When we arrived in Rundu after a few hours of driving, there was MORE walking to be done with my ridiculous luggage in hand. We had to foot about a kilo or two into town before arriving at the PCV’s house we were going to stay at for the night. Once there, we unpacked and were given a tour of the town that ended with dinner at the Omashare Lodge. I had an extremely delicious vegetarian pizza and a N$6 glass of wine (about $0.60 at the time!)

After dinner we went to another volunteer’s house for a small get together with all of the Peace Corps Volunteers in the area at the time. It was a great opportunity to talk with the PCVs who had been here for a while and hear their stories and perspectives with regards to Namibia. I heard a lot of interesting and encouraging stories, but there were also a lot of sad things that were said. I’m not just talking about sad stories (there were some of those), but disheartening comments made by some of the volunteers as well.

It appeared as though over time, some of the many problems in Namibia had beaten down these particular volunteers. It was as if they had lost all hope of change and were starting to view Namibians in a general stereotype they had derived from their own negative personal encounters. Saying Namibians were this or that, and judging them in accordance. And with everything they did, they were really only separating themselves from the people they were trying to help.

I could see how being surrounded by so many problems constantly would wear on a person, but only to a certain degree, and only if you allow it to. I thought about how sad it was that they were beat down so easily. I thought about what a horrible experience their service must be if they are constantly focusing on the problems instead of working on solutions. I thought about how limiting it would be to have the belief that “these people” can’t change, that they just are a certain way and there’s nothing to be done about it.

I believe that those types of mentalities only create a gap between people, and by separating yourself from others by focusing on the differences that you judge to be bad, you only render yourself powerless to help them. You create a distance between yourself and them, and it’s in that distance, in seeing them from afar, that they seem so different, unfamiliar, and even scary. But the thing is, Namibians, Americans, and everyone else on the planet, we’re all just humans, we’re all equals. We may all be unique and special individuals in our own ways, with insignificant yet beautiful differences, but we all share the common thread of humanity. And when you get up real close, when you open yourself up to seeing “those people”, truly seeing them, that’s when you realize how familiar, how similar, and just how wonderful your brother, who is a part of you and like you in so many ways, really is.

The only difference that really matters is circumstance. People’s circumstances are what shape them to be the way that they are. Poverty, repressive cultures, abuse and corruption can affect a life path in the same way that kindness, abundance, freedom, and honesty can. I’m not saying that people don’t have choices, because we have a choice in everything we do, but I do believe that some circumstances make choices that are more difficult than others. I don’t know if I’d be the same person if I had been brought up in a poor community, or a controlling family, or an abusive environment, or a culture of repression, jealousy, and secrecy. I would like to think I would be the same person that I am today, that I would not waiver and change in the face of adversity, but the truth is that I just don’t know.

We can never fully know anyone’s story. We can never truly know the challenges and hardships that they have faced in life. We can never absolutely know the impact of the psychological trauma that has been inflicted upon a person by the world around them. And because of that, because we can never know, because we could be just like “that person” if we were in their situation, we might want to have a little more compassion and understanding for where they are coming from.

Because I know that I just don’t know, because I have my own unique story that can never be fully understood, and because I take a closer look and in doing so see my remarkable sister… I won’t be beaten down. I will not allow the impact of circumstance to affect how I view others. I won’t give up hope that all people can learn and change and grow. I won’t lose sight of the true potential that lies within each and every one of us. And I will always remember to take a closer look… because things aren’t always as they seem to be.